Puns

prick

i told my mum the refrigerator was running so she got dressed and ran after it…

Orphan

Anonymous

An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost calls for his mum then remembers

Common

Anonymous

what does your mum and istanbul have in common?

they are all insane comebacks!!!

Dad

Hangy Boi

Me: Want to hear a joke? Friend: Sure Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me. Friend: What’s funny about that? Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

Make

Just call me..............

I was making sandcastles with my Nan then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.

Still

A.e 1007

Your mum is so smart but she still can’t figure why she had you

Movie

demon queen

horror movies don’t scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.

Roast

get up you lazy a s s

my mum told me to take out the trash but i couldn’t find you

Kid

Someone

Kid: Are you gay? Me: No im straighter than the pole your mom dances on.

Orphan

Anonymous

orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets em. ( also I banged ya mum ;) )

Hell

Alwaysfunny14

The teacher asked,"why are you in school on a saturday?" I told her my mum told me to go to hell.

Depression

Edgelord 3000

I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck? I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born

Hand

Anonymous321

My mom told me that she got a new job & I don’t have to leave the house. Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job . My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I;m good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.

Twin Towers

Jack Wilson

Today is the day of 9/11 and we were in class making jokes and somebody said that’s sad and I was like why and they said “ today is the day the towers went down” and I said just like I did on you mum last night

Sister

F...HandsMcFestive

My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.

Sister

Anonymous

Yesterday I was fucking my sister and she said’ you fuck a lot like dad I said “really mum said that too.”

Vegetable

D....... goober

I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics and she said i had to eat more vegetables

Rock

Anonymous

What can a rock possibly say?

Answer: I’ll fuck ya mum rock hard

Orphan

Anonymous

Why is it so easy to bully an orphan. What are they gonna do tell there mum

Orphan

Anonymous

Ur mum gay… Sorry wrong person

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