i told my mum the refrigerator was running so she got dressed and ran after it…

Me: Want to hear a joke? Friend: Sure Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me. Friend: What’s funny about that? Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost calls for his mum then remembers

orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets em. ( also I banged ya mum ;) )

Yesterday I was fucking my sister and she said’ you fuck a lot like dad I said “really mum said that too.”

What can a rock possibly say?

Answer: I’ll fuck ya mum rock hard

The teacher asked,"why are you in school on a saturday?" I told her my mum told me to go to hell.

My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.

Your mum is so fat Les Dawson would agree with me that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck? I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born

Your mum lol teehee

your mum is so fat when she sat in a monster truck it turned into a lowrider

I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics and she said i had to eat more vegetables

yo mama so fAt that when she walked past the TV you missed 3 episodes of your favourite show.

horror movies don’t scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.

Yo mama so short, when it rains she’s the last to know!

When your mum tells you to help your granny And you in plug life support

What are you doing son.it has been an hour and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum actually I want to see how I look while sleeping…

What’s the difference between your mum and your nan Your nans a gilf

My mom told me that she got a new job & I don’t have to leave the house. Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job . My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I;m good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.