i told my mum the refrigerator was running so she got dressed and ran after it…

An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost calls for his mum then remembers

Me: Want to hear a joke? Friend: Sure Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me. Friend: What’s funny about that? Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck? I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born

orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets em. ( also I banged ya mum ;) )

Kid: Are you gay? Me: No im straighter than the pole your mom dances on.

Today is the day of 9/11 and we were in class making jokes and somebody said that’s sad and I was like why and they said “ today is the day the towers went down” and I said just like I did on you mum last night

The teacher asked,"why are you in school on a saturday?" I told her my mum told me to go to hell.

My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.

When a man sleeps with a lot of women he’s called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she’s called your mum.

Yesterday I was fucking my sister and she said’ you fuck a lot like dad I said “really mum said that too.”

Your mum lol teehee

I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics and she said i had to eat more vegetables

What can a rock possibly say?

Answer: I’ll fuck ya mum rock hard

Your mum is so smart but she still can’t figure why she had you

yo mama so fAt that when she walked past the TV you missed 3 episodes of your favourite show.

Yo mama so short, when it rains she’s the last to know!

your mum is so fat when she sat in a monster truck it turned into a lowrider

horror movies don’t scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.

your mum is so poor she cant afford free samples

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