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My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.

Yesterday I was my sister and she said’ you f... a lot like dad I said “really mum said that too.”

i told my mum the refrigerator was running so she got dressed and ran after it…

The teacher asked,"why are you in school on a saturday?" I told her my mum told me to go to hell.

Me: Want to hear a joke? Friend: Sure Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me. Friend: What’s funny about that? Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: 'Why is my sister caleed Crasy horse and my brother Rushing water?' Mum: Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions 2 dogs

I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics and she said i had to eat more vegetables

So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not) and Michael Jackson’s song Billie Jean sounds like my name and so my mom says, as the song is playing, (my name) is not my daughter, she’s just a girl who claims that I am her mum. Wow. applauds for mother Love you momma =)

Your mum

your mum is so poor she cant afford free samples

Guys tell me that I have a MILF for a mom. So I told my mom that guys tell me that she a MILF. My mom said to me what is a MILF so I said Mother I’d Like TO F-ck. So my mom started to laugh and said well you do new a new step dad.

An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost calls for his mum then remembers

orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets em. ( also I banged ya mum ;) )

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that your a MILF. My mom said what that I reply Mom I’d Like To F.... My mum started out to laugh then she told well new do need a new step dad.

Yo mama so smelly, whenever she steps outside she pollutes the air!

Yo mama so short, when it rains she’s the last to know!

Your mum is so fat Les Dawson would agree with me that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

why did your mum touch me because she was a pedo

why does my mum eat carrots?

Hey mum why do people keep suddenly dying in our family? Mum? Mum? Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!