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My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.

Me: Want to hear a joke? Friend: Sure Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me. Friend: What’s funny about that? Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

Yesterday I was f...ing my sister and she said’ you f... a lot like dad I said “really mum said that too.”

The teacher asked,"why are you in school on a saturday?" I told her my mum told me to go to hell.

I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics and she said i had to eat more vegetables

i told my mum the refrigerator was running so she got dressed and ran after it…

So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not) and Michael Jackson’s song Billie Jean sounds like my name and so my mom says, as the song is playing, (my name) is not my daughter, she’s just a girl who claims that I am her mum. Wow. applauds for mother Love you momma =)

your mum is so poor she cant afford free samples

An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: 'Why is my sister caleed Crasy horse and my brother Rushing water?' Mum: Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions 2 dogs f...ing?

Yo mama so short, when it rains she’s the last to know!

Your mum

Your mum lol teehee

Your is so ugly that aliens don’t come here

Yo mama so smelly, whenever she steps outside she pollutes the air!

Your mum is so fat Les Dawson would agree with me that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

why did your mum touch me because she was a pedo

ur mum homo

Hey mum why do people keep suddenly dying in our family? Mum? Mum? Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

My mum touch my friend but she wasn’t the she’s only 12