horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck? I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born
what does your mum and istanbul have in common?
they are all insane comebacks!!!
i told my mum the refrigerator was running so she got dressed and ran after it...
My mom told me to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost calls for his mum then remembers
Kid: Are you gay? Me: No im straighter than the pole your mom dances on.
Raaj went up to his mom and said, "I bet you 10 dollars I can disappear." Then he turned off the lights.
Little johnnys teacher asks him "Johnny ,do you pray before you eat?" little johnny says "I dont need to, my mum makes good food.
Mum: if your friend jumped of a cliff would you Me: oh yeah no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house. Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job . My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I;m good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
Kid: Mum how do you know someone is drunk? Mum: See the four birds over there Kid: huh, wait a minute. Mum: A drunk person would see eight. Kid: Mum but there is only two.
I was digging a hole in the garden untill i found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered i was digging a hole in the garden.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mothers day card for his mum. The second he saw it he burst out crying...
MY mum once told me how do u spell mississippi and i said misisipi but she said no its goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i and i luaghed when she said pp,then she said why are you laughing i tried saying u said pp but i was laughing to hard
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.
son: can i go to my friends mum? mum: no! son: dad was right i am a son of a bitch! mum: bad news but your adopted!!
“Mum I just won this phone in a race!” “Who was in the race?” “The owner of the phone And the police I think they’re at the door to congratulate me!”
I was making sandcastles with my Nan then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.
my mums a carrot
