My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry

So I threw a coconut at her

If you were a food what would you be?

Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy

Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends

Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

Why do the French eat snails? – They don’t like fast food.

Dark humor is a lot like food.

Not everyone gets it.

I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.

Would you like to try African food??

They would too.

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

What is the similarity between a joke and food?

Some people just don’t get them!

Dark humor is like food.

Not everyone gets it.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, No atmosphere.

Have you ever tried North Korean food?

Neither have the North Koreans.

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie. It’ll be fun.” “Ok,” the mom and son reply happily. “Let me start,” says the son. “Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom. “I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son. “Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom. “Your right!” He replies. “I’ll go next,” says the dad. I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.” “Hmm… Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son. “The lie isn’t that your adopted.” Says the dad.

What’s a lesbians favorite type of food?


I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn’t know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said ,”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately…”

What is a cannibal’s favorite food? Crackers

What is Steven Hawkins favourite food? Micro chips

Arby’s fast food, and abortion clinic, your dead babies are our taters and gravies.

My son said he burnt food on accident so I told him he was an accident

What is a physicist’s favorite food?

Fission chips.

Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?

While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.