Food jokes
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said, "Onions are the only food that makes you cry." So I threw a coconut at her.
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
If you were a food, what would you be?
Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."
Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."
Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."
What is the similarity between a joke and food? Some people just don't get them!
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Microchips.
Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral? While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.
I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.
Dark jokes are just like food.
Not everyone gets it.
I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.
When Covid spreads through food, but you realized you live in Africa.
My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
You shouldn’t bully fat people.
They already have enough on their plate.
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?
Both get food thrown at them some of the time.