Present jokes
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
What did the blind man say on Christmas?
"I can feel your presents!"
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.
I hope it's a dog
I got my son a trampoline for his birthday.
The ungrateful boy sat in his wheelchair the whole time.
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.
What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
KFC proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids. 😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer.
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
How do you get more presents from Santa? You tickle his sack.
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.
My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.
So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
As an Autist, I find these jokes really funny. Thanks for the early 13th birthday present, ya'll :>