Shoes jokes
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A slipper.
What a school shooter's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.
My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of SHOE?
Ad-lib-idas.
Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.
Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?
Stole his slogan, just do it!
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”