Shoes jokes
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A slipper.
What a school shooter's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.
My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"
Memes
With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.
Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?
Stole his slogan, just do it!
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.