Shoes jokes

Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.

Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".

At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.

What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?

White Vans.

Does your shoe have a hole in it?

No.

Then how did you put your foot in it?

"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.

Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!

Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.

If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?

Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.

What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?

They took a class trip.

What did the shoe say to the other shoe?

Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.

What do you call a shoe made by George Floyd?

The Breath Takers.

So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.

Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.

A note for My arts/health teacher:

oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.

He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.

Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.

1, 2 buckle my shoe.

3, 4 buckle some more.

5, 6 Nike kicks.

1, 2 buckle my shoe.

3, 4 open the door.

5, 6 Nike kicks.