Shoes jokes
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."
What's a kidnapper's favorite White Vans?
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.
An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.
It's quite obvious to each of the three men where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you, do you? This is my seat, after all."
The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"
The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are, and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know it's going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a Coke!"
The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to where the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a Coke.
Then the other Pakistani says, "You know what brother? I would also like a Coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a Coke.
Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each other's shoes and peeing in each other's Cokes?"
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.
Kobe likes his shoes like the way he died.
Air.
What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ, my titties, and then I saw the most a shoe got shoveled all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE'S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched the guy, got smacked in the face, went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF are you staring at?" I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I thought this, "This isn't over motherfucker, I'm gonna find you and kill you." Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. They told me, "Why tf were you fighting a stop sign?" I said, "What? You were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign?" I said, "Bitch, I ain't crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka"
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!
Women are like dogs...
"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"
"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"
"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of SHOE?
Ad-lib-idas.
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?