Olympics

Olympics Jokes

Gold Medal

How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

Sailing

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

Mexico

Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.

  • 4
  • Race

    What can an Olympic runner do that Hitler can't?

    Finish a race.

    Mexico

    Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?

    Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.

  • 5
  • Book

    I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.

    Mexican

    Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?

    Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.

  • 0
  • Medal

    What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

    Not being retarded.

    Gold

    What is better than winning gold at the Para Olympics?

    WALKING!

    Jesus

    Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.

    Potato

    What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?

    The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

    Javelin

    A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.

    Difference

    What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...

    Michael Phelps can finish a race.

    Attempt

    Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:

    Kleenex

    Depends

    Bicycle Helmet manufacturers

    Velcro Shoe manufacturers

    Steven Hawkings Publishers

    Mexican

    Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.

    Man

    It's the Olympics.

    Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.

    Priest

    What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.

    American

    Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?

    Because they train at the best school.

    Bronze

    Have you heard about the tanning Olympics?

    Everyone wanted bronze! (This is a lil cringe.)