Olympics jokes
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
What did the Olympic Swimmer call his son?
Paul.
I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
joe mama roast
It's the Olympics.
Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger!
What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
Husband: "Honey, I just bought these special Olympic-style condoms!"
Wife: "Olympic-style condoms? What makes them so special?"
Husband: "They come in three colors: gold, silver, and bronze."
Wife: "Ooh, sweet. What color are you going to wear tonight?"
Husband: "Gold, of course!"
Wife: "Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."
Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?
Because they train at the best school.
What is better than winning gold at the Para Olympics?
WALKING!
What did Amtrak say at the Olympics?
I AM keeping Trak!
What do you call a bunch of biracial, retarded kids? The Special Olympics.
The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.
Like a lot of people watching the Olympics, I'm wondering why black people don't just take over the earth.
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...
Michael Phelps can finish a race.
What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.
What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.
Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:
Kleenex
Depends
Bicycle Helmet manufacturers
Velcro Shoe manufacturers
Steven Hawkings Publishers
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.