I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!
Footwear Jokes
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.
They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes?
Sneakers.
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoes?
White vans.
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?
White Vans.
Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says, "I have some good news and bad news."
So the patient says, "What is the bad news?" the Doctor replies, "I have had to amputate both your legs." So the patient says, "Well, what is the good news?" The Doctor replies, "I have found someone to buy your slippers."
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
What's a footlong and slippery?
A slipper.
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.