Footwear jokes
I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.
What are an orphan's favorite shoes?
White Vans.
What did the rapper say to his shoes?
"You better lace up!"
How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite shoe?
Fuller House😂
What kind of shoes does a ninja wear? Sneakers.
How come you never see a broke midget?
Because he’s living in the broke man’s boots.
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
I talk with a friend about something and there comes Quandangle, things with his shoes, and I'm just like, "Bro, what the heeeeel?"
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 buckle some more.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 open the door.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
What is a redneck's favorite sock?
A red sock.
What do frogs wear for shoes? Open toad.
What does your mom say to you? "Love you, moody."
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"
Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says, "I have some good news and bad news."
So the patient says, "What is the bad news?" the Doctor replies, "I have had to amputate both your legs." So the patient says, "Well, what is the good news?" The Doctor replies, "I have found someone to buy your slippers."
What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes?
Sneakers.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.