Shoes

Shoes jokes

Life

  • Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.

    Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.

    Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.

    My life is like... the shoe rack-

  • 1
  • Mama

  • Yo mama so fat when she goes to the shoe store, she needs to take their advice and get XXXXL.

    Hand

  • What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

    What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

    What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

    I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

    What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

  • 0
  • Sound

  • There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.

  • 52
  • Pedophile

  • What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.

    How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.

    How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.

    What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"

  • 1
  • Wheelchair

  • When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."

  • 1
  • Uncle

  • You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

  • 1
  • Song

  • This song is just like how my life is and how my girlfriend left.

    - Do Re Mi- By- blackbear

    Do, re, mi, fa, so

    (Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh)

    Do, re, mi, fa, so

    (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

    Yeah, if I could go back to the day we met

    I probably would just stay in bed

    You run your mouth all over town

    And this one goes out to the sound

    Of breakin' glass on my Range Rover

    Pay me back, or bitch it's over

    All the presents I would send

    Fuck my friends behind my shoulder

    Next time, I'ma stay asleep

    I pray the Lord my soul to keep, oh

    And you got me thinkin' lately

    Bitch, you crazy

    And nothing's ever good enough

    I wrote a little song for ya

    It go like

    Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl

    So fuckin' done with all the games you play

    I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe

    Send the X and O's on another note

    I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby

    So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

    (Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh)

    If I could go back to the day we met

    I probably would've stayed in bed

    You wake up everyday and make me feel like I'm incompetent

    Designer shoes and Xanax tabs

    Compliments your make-up bag

    You never had to buy yourself a drink

    'Cause everybody want to tap that ass sometime

    And you got me thinkin' lately

    Bitch, you crazy

    And nothing's ever good enough

    I wrote a little song for ya

    It go like

    Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl

    So fuckin' done with all the games you play

    I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe

    Send the X and O's on another note

    I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby

    So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

    (Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh)

    I wrote a little song for you, it go like

    Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl

    So fuckin' done with all the games you play

    I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe

    Send the X and O's on another note

    I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby

    So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

    (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

    Do, re, mi, fa, so

    (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

    So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

    Batman

  • Batman: Arkham Knight, developed by Rocksteady Studios, is the final installment in the critically acclaimed Batman: Arkham series. Released in 2015, the game is renowned for its immersive gameplay, compelling narrative, and stunning visual design, offering players an unparalleled experience of stepping into the shoes of the iconic Dark Knight.

    The game's narrative is one of its standout features. Set one year after the events of Batman: Arkham City, the story sees Batman facing the ultimate threat against Gotham City. The Scarecrow returns to unite an impressive roster of super villains, including Penguin, Two-Face, and Harley Quinn, with a singular goal - to destroy Batman forever. The narrative is dark, intense, and filled with surprising twists, keeping players engaged till the very end.

    In terms of gameplay, Batman: Arkham Knight introduces the Batmobile as a drivable vehicle, adding a new dimension to the series' signature gameplay elements. The game's combat system is fluid and satisfying, allowing players to feel the power of Batman with every punch and kick.

  • 2
  • String

  • You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.

  • 1
  • God

  • The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.

    My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?

    Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D

    Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?

    Me: Call The Police Ka!!!

    Sister

  • My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.

  • 1