Safety jokes
Somebody shouts "Fire!"
Man 1: Get the children out!
Man 2: F*** the children!
Man 3: We don't have time!
What is the best type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
Q. What’s the only good thing about child molesters?
A. They drive slow through school zones.
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
What's the good thing about child perverts?
They drive slow in a school zone.
Memes
Slow down prostitute ahead
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds?
Because it's the average class size.
Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
Why is my anus burning?
'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!
"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."
Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃
When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
You were born on the freeway, you know why?
Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
How do you stop a baby from crawling on the floor?
Nail one hand to the ground...
How do you stop it from crawling in circles? Nail the other hand to the floor.
"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.