Safety jokes
5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
Why is my anus burning?
'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
Memes
"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.
Q. What’s the only good thing about child molesters?
A. They drive slow through school zones.
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds?
Because it's the average class size.
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.
The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!
What's the good thing about child perverts?
They drive slow in a school zone.
Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.
When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃
When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?
Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
What animal has 5 legs?
A pitbull on a children's playground.