Safety jokes
When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃
When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?
Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D
Memes
Shitpost-master general
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
What is the best type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
What animal has 5 legs?
A pitbull on a children's playground.
"I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something."
How does a rapper keep their money safe?
In a RAP VAULT.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance on the cliff, so I pushed her over because I lost my balance!
Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀
Why couldn't people have their phone on airplane mode during 9/11?
Because their phone exploded the towers.
Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?
Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case he had to drop some BOMBS.
Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.
Which room is the safest place in the house?
The living room.
Why drink water and not bleach?