Safety jokes
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
What is the best type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
How do you stop a baby from crawling on the floor?
Nail one hand to the ground...
How do you stop it from crawling in circles? Nail the other hand to the floor.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
You were born on the freeway, you know why?
Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈
"I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something."
Yo mama so fat, her cereal bowl has a lifeguard.
How does a rapper keep their money safe?
In a RAP VAULT.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance on the cliff, so I pushed her over because I lost my balance!
Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀
Why did so many people die in the Grenfell Fire Disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
Why drink water and not bleach?
When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.
An anti-bullying PSA and speeding PSA from the same creator meet one another.
The death toll went sky high.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
The toaster, otherwise the perfect bath bomb.
When you lock the door, but you realize it's a pull open door!
What is one good thing about child molesters?
They drive slow past schools.
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.