Safety jokes
"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.
Q. What’s the only good thing about child molesters?
A. They drive slow through school zones.
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃
When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
Memes
Shitpost-master general
"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?
Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
What is the best type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance on the cliff, so I pushed her over because I lost my balance!
Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀
What did the other traffic cone say to the other?
"Look away, I'm changing!"
Yo mama so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case he had to drop some BOMBS.
Why couldn't people have their phone on airplane mode during 9/11?
Because their phone exploded the towers.
Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.