Safety

Safety jokes

Gun

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.

Seatbelt

What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?

A seatbelt.

Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?

A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.

Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?

Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?

Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?

Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.

"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."

Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.

My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?

The tornado siren doesn't get raped.