Its sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as- wild dogs
Girl: "Come over." Orphan: "I can't." Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)" Orphan: "Oh cool, something we have in common."
Abner’s wife was laying on her death bed. She suddenly used all her strength to sit up and say to her husband, “I must tell you something, or my soul will never know peace. I have been unfaithful to you, Abner. In this very house, not one month ago.” “Hush, dear,” soothed Abner. “I know all about it. Why else have I poisoned you?”
Teacher: Kids what are something you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friend to make me happy. Teacher: What about you Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A man walks into a bar, he takes a seat and asks the barmen if he wanted to hear a blonde joke, the barmen replies before you tell this joke I want to tell you something, see the women over there, she is a black belt in karate, she's blonde , see the bouncer over there he is also a blonde, see the chick over there with that pool que she is also blonde, also I have a shotgun behind the bar i'm blonde, so do you still want to tell your joke? He replies f**k that I ain't explaining the joke 4 times.
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
At least one does something when it is triggered.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.
My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
What’s the difference between Steven Hawking and the Statue of Liberty, the statue stands for something
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used too, but don't anymore.
Person: why'd you stop?
Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
If prostitution had a tax exempt status and if a adult book store had a tax exempt status because of a glory hole churches would have to do something else to keep their tax exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business
i like when people say they hate me because we have something in common <3
What does a cow say when he remembers something? "I have deja moo!"
Just noticed something all celebrities die bad except for Elvis he had a relief after Taco Bell 🔔
How many Karen's does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness
You know when you sign up for something and it says *im not a robot* guess he never had the chance to tick that
Husband: I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time Wife: You have the biggest penis out of all your friends
Why is there a lot of whites in hockey? It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop
A Vampire goes to the Bakery:
Vampire🧛♂️: „One Bun please.“
Bäcker👩🍳: „But you're Vampire, don't you need blood 🩸 ?“
Vampir🧛♂️: „Yes, there is an accident outside and i need something to dip“
