Monkey jokes
Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed, One fell off and bumped his head. The momma called the doctor and the doctor said... “We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Monkey Man's mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em.
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.
The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.
Please write your comment.
But do not use words like monkey, donkey, loser, etc.
What does 2016 and 2020 have in common?
A monkey caused worldwide outrage.
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So, she told her sister, and her sister said that ain't nothing, mine's already eating bananas.
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.