The 40+ Best Monkey Jokes

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Did you hear about the monkeys that share a amazon account?They where prime mates

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,

One fell off and bumped his head.

The momma called the doctor and the doctor said…

“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”

A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: 'Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, “No. Shaking hands will be fine.”

The Tent Pole Is Up, The Canvas Is Spread, The Hell With Breakfast, Come Back To Bed.

Take The Tent Pole Down, Put The Canvas Away, The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage, No Circus Today

Monkey Man’s mortuary you stab 'em we slab 'em

What does 2016 and 2020 have in common? A monkey caused worldwide outrage.

A woman walks onto the Bus with his child. The driver says, "That’s the ugliest child I have seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, “Go say something back. Here, I’ll hold your monkey for you!”

One day a cow ate a fish

what came out the other side?

A dead fish.

Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I will be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.