Monkey jokes
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What does 2016 and 2020 have in common?
A monkey caused worldwide outrage.
Why did the zookeeper lose his job? For choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
HOWWW
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed, One fell off and bumped his head. The momma called the doctor and the doctor said... “We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
Why are monkeys funny? Because they look weird.
In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.
Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.
Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.
So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
How do you know if a black lady’s pregnant?
You put a banana up her vagina and see if any little monkeys come and get it.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
BaBOOM!
Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!