Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,

One fell off and bumped his head.

The momma called the doctor and the doctor said…

“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: 'Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? – A cross.

Monkey Man’s mortuary you stab 'em we slab 'em

A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, “No. Shaking hands will be fine.”

Did you hear about the monkeys that share a amazon account?They where prime mates

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

The rest of them will write Perl programs.

Roses are red Your blood is tooyou look like a monkey and belong in a zoo Do not worry i will be there too not in a cage but laghing at you

why did the zookeeper lose his job? for choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!

This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar. An hour or so goes, then the new flame says, I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice,food is great, but what’s up with the monkey way down there? His friend ok, Watch this. He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool,pulls down his zipper and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin,cleaned himpulled up his zipper then jumped to his chair. Walked back to his new gay friend and said what do you think of that? MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that! His squeeze said wanna give it a try? I sure do, JUST DON’T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey. how’s that?

What is monkeys favorite position? Donkey Kong

Q: What do you call an angry monkey? A: Furious George!

One day a cow ate a fish

what came out the other side?

A dead fish.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree he was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree he was also dead why did the third monkey fall out of the tree monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree he was stapled to the first one

What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?

The banana 🍌 split.

What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?

The banana 🍌 split.

Why did the monkey 🐒 take his banana 🍌 to the doctor 👩‍⚕️?

Because it wasn’t peeling good.

5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed one fell off and bumped his head momma called the doctor and the doctor said… “Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?”

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