Eating

Anonymous

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

5

Puns

Laura Janke

Did you hear about the monkeys that share a amazon account?They where prime mates

Doctor

Anonymous

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,

One fell off and bumped his head.

The momma called the doctor and the doctor said…

“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”

Sister

Jesse

A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas

Baby

aye

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: 'Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Puns

joel

A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, “No. Shaking hands will be fine.”

Hell

CHUCK

The Tent Pole Is Up, The Canvas Is Spread, The Hell With Breakfast, Come Back To Bed.

Take The Tent Pole Down, Put The Canvas Away, The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage, No Circus Today

Man

Anonymous

Monkey Man’s mortuary you stab 'em we slab 'em

Common

Anonymous

What does 2016 and 2020 have in common? A monkey caused worldwide outrage.

Baby

ILOVEYOMAMA

A woman walks onto the Bus with his child. The driver says, "That’s the ugliest child I have seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, “Go say something back. Here, I’ll hold your monkey for you!”

Cow

ALIBAAAAA

One day a cow ate a fish

what came out the other side?

A dead fish.

Red

Katie

Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I will be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.

Million

Anonymous

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

The rest of them will write Perl programs.

Cross

Anonymous

What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? – A cross.

0

Curiousness

Anonymous

Q: What do you call an angry monkey? A: Furious George!

Game

wyatt

What is a monkey’s favorite game? A Hangman!

Blue

Kristen

Roses are red violets are blue when i saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too

Chicken

Anonymous

why did the zookeeper lose his job? for choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!

Banana

Anonymous

What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?

The banana 🍌 split.

Position

Corbin

What is monkeys favorite position? Donkey Kong