Joe Biden

Joe Biden Jokes

Speech

Joe Biden's speeches are so motivational. In fact, I have been stuck at home these past few weeks, and his well articulated words were enough for me to muster up the courage to jump off of a 10 story building.

Difference

What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?

The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.

Lung

I'm going to pull out your lungs faster than Joe Biden pulled troops out of Afghanistan.

Prank

In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.

Clock

One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."

State

What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?

Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔

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  • Brownie

    Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.

    "Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.

    "Indeed, they are," he was told.

    "Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"

    Government

    Government Briefing:

    Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...

    ...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.

    Hairline

    Charlene's hairline was so big that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.