Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. – I gave him a glass of water.

Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water

Who else would think of adding gas

jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter

RIP boiling water. You will be mist.

My friend can’t afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, “Get well soon.”

The W in African stands for water

what is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon

If we can’t see air can fish see water?

They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless

What the difference between a water bottle and Africa? One has water the other one doesn’t

How to get a 1000 followers on instagram?

Run through africa with a bottle of water.

dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.

It was the year 1912, I was in the SS. titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, “I’ve heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?”

I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I Wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone, and it turns out he only knows Spanish so When he kept saying “Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida.” I thought he wanted water, but when I got back with the water he was asleep and now my phone was charged so I translated what he said. And it was “You unplugged my life support”, that’s when I called the doctor…

Good news is, I got one sick selfie!

I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea but it’s dead in the water

Jesus could walk on water and Chuck Norris can swim through land

Why did the fish cross the sea?

To get to the other tide! 😂 😂 😂

How do you make holy water?

You take normal water, and boil the hell out of it.

What did the egg say to the boiling water? It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.

Loading...