Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. – I gave him a glass of water.

Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water

Who else would think of adding gas

RIP boiling water. You will be mist.

How do you make holy water?

You take normal water, and boil the hell out of it.

what is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon

My friend can’t afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, “Get well soon.”

Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!) As they’re approaching the Pearly Gates to be interview by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end. Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven. He says to the first nun : “Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the p.... of a man”? Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says : Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don’t let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven". St. Peter says : “Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven”. Sister Carmel sees what’s going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently. “Pssst - hey Bernie”!, she says. Sister Bernadette asks : “What is it?” A little annoyed. Sister Carmel says : “Do you mind if we swap places”? Sister Bernadette replies : “What for”? Sister Carmel says : “Well, I wouldn’t mind gargling before you stick your ass in there”!

How do you get a million followers?

Get a water bottle and run through Africa!

If we can’t see air can fish see water?

how do you get 11million followers

run around africa with a water bottle

Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

my water was leaking, so i used flex tape. now i don’t know where to shower. Thanks Phil

9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. – That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.

I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea but it’s dead in the water

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

Wanna know how to get 1 million followers get a water bottle and run through Africa.

So my friend and I went camping at a Cold lake Campground and he jumped into it, without any warning, and so I asked him Wat-er you doing

Jesus could walk on water and Chuck Norris can swim through land

Two kids were sitting at restaurant one said could I please have some water I am feeling a little HORSE. The other said Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game.

An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: 'Why is my sister caleed Crasy horse and my brother Rushing water?' Mum: Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions 2 dogs f...ing?

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