Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
RIP boiling water. You will be mist.
Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
They say people are 75% water But I'm 100% useless
Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?
Who else would think of adding gas?
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was ‘sleeping with the fishes’. At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of children
Jesus could walk on water and Chuck Norris can swim through land
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.
A depressing but satisfying victory.
What pool never runs dry? The one on the Titanic.
what do you call a suicide bomber that loves water? a bath bomb
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
I like my people how I like my tea..
In a bag under water.
Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full
So I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said "Yes ma'am." She said "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said "Okay, thanks bitch."
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
please like this. i bet my friend 20 bucks that i would get to 15 likes before him
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same. The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr Independent and isists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!