I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
"Police control! Have you been drinking?"
"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"
"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.
I worry about him sometimes.
I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).
When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.
Police seek clues to explain Walmart.
What is the good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in school zones.
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.
I saw a man trying to rape a dog. I decided to help. The dog can't stand a chance against the both of us.
What do retarded cops give tickets for?
Going over 45 in a potato zone.
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.
What is the Mexican police number?
9 Juan Juan.
My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"
