Law Enforcement jokes

Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?

A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.

What's the difference between a cop and bacon?

Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.

Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"

What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?

Cassie.

Get it?

What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?

When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.

What is a Mexican's least favorite type of water?

I.C.E. water.

What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?

Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!

Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.

What is the good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in school zones.

Why don't cows make good policemen?

Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!

Police seek clues to explain Walmart.

My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.

I worry about him sometimes.

When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.

"Police control! Have you been drinking?"

"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"

"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"

I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).

I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"

How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?

Go to the junkyard.

How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.

I saw a man trying to rape a dog. I decided to help. The dog can't stand a chance against the both of us.

What do retarded cops give tickets for?

Going over 45 in a potato zone.