What's the difference between a cop and bacon?
Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.
Law Enforcement Jokes
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
"Police control! Have you been drinking?"
"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"
"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.
I worry about him sometimes.
I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).
When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.
Police seek clues to explain Walmart.
What is the good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in school zones.
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.
I saw a man trying to rape a dog. I decided to help. The dog can't stand a chance against the both of us.
What do retarded cops give tickets for?
Going over 45 in a potato zone.
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.
What is the Mexican police number?
9 Juan Juan.
My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.