John Doe


She's so fat that when she steps on to a wood floor that the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large!

What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach? It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!

Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally!


Voldemort: Knock Knock. Harry Potter: Who's There? Voldemort: You Know. Harry Potter: You Know Who? Voldemort: Exactly!

What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.

What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!


Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.


I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”


I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.