She's so fat that when she steps on to a wood floor that the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
Forehead is so big that you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.
Kobe was on fire before his death. He was on fire after too.
How do crazy people get through a forest? They take the psycho-path!
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter? An irrelephant.
What did the shoes say to the pants? SUP, BRITCHES!
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large!
Knock knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach? It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally!
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed every one!
Voldemort: Knock Knock. Harry Potter: Who's There? Voldemort: You Know. Harry Potter: You Know Who? Voldemort: Exactly!
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels