What did the football coach say when he went to the bank? -"I want my quarter back."
What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
This is a stand-up.
My bank loves me.
They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank.
Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.
An old lady in the bank told me to check her balance so I pushed her over.
A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands for money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."
The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"
Read the next line. Read the previous line.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.
Where do fish keep their money?
In a river-bank!
One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, “Put a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.” But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word bank in every slot. And he says, “Well teacher, you said to put a word from the word Bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!”
Want to know how to keep an idiot in suspense???
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"
my job is so amazing. today a man asked me to check his balance, so i pushed him over. his balance isn't good
