Banana

Banana Jokes

Monkey

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

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  • Monkey

    A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So, she told her sister, and her sister said that ain't nothing, mine's already eating bananas.

    Human

    Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

    I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

    Broccoli

    Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."

    Walnut says, "I look like a brain."

    Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."

    Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"

    Rhyme

    My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."

    Duck

    Why do ducks have feathers?

    So you don't see their butt. *quack* (crack)

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  • Airplane

    There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.

    Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"

    Monkey

    Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?

    Because it wasn’t peeling good.

    Doctor

    Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.

    "Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.

    "Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"

    Smoothie

    My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter

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  • Doctor

    Why did the banana go to the doctor?

    Because he wasn't peeling very well!