A teacher asks a boy in her class "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think. Later, the boy asks the teacher "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says "The one sucking it." The boy says "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
- i called it cold hard cash
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms. Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms. Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her. Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms. Why did sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
Titanic: "And I'm nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!"
Why does the ice cream đ¨ have so many friends?
Because heâs cool.
Q: What did the Ice berg say to the Titanic? A: I'd hit that.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, "What are you guys doing?" and they reply "Nothing, nothing! we're just uh, making cake" and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him "What are you guys doing?" and his brother yells "Get out! were making cake!" So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says "So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!" and she replies "OMG! Howd you know!?!?" and Johnny replies "Because, I licked the icing off the couch" ayyyyyy.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner
If the formula of water is H2O , then what is the formula of ice ?
H2O cubed
what do you call a ice skating dwarf?
a midget spinner
I once heard my dad shout I'm going to be like frozen and let it go then I heard a gunshot
âWhy did Susie fall off the swing?â âBecause she had no armsâ
âWhy could she get up off the ground?â âBecause she had no friendsâ
âKnock knockâ âWhoâs there?â âNot Susie, sheâs still on the groundâ
âWhere did Susie go when the bomb went off?â âEverywhereâ âWhy couldnât Susie scratch her leg?â âBecause it was in a different body bagâ
âWhy did Susie drop her ice cream?â âShe was hit by a busâ
âWhy did Susie fall off the swing?â âSomeone threw a refrigerator at herâ
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a bus.
why did little billy drop his ice cream cone?
becasuse he got hit by a bus
What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?
Ice, Ice Baby!!
hell hates freezers and Englnd and soccer