Law Enforcement jokes

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed.

Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."

Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!

Why do orphans play GTA?

Because they want to feel wanted.

What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.

What does the policeman say to the jumper?

"Hey! Pullover!"

One day, the Pope is coming to America in his limo, and he said to the driver, "Why don’t you let me drive for once?"

The driver thinks to himself, "Well, I can’t say no to this guy; he’s the Pope." So the driver pulls over, and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while, the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "Slow down a bit; you might get pulled over."

The Pope says, "Ahhh, don’t worry about it; I’m the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments, he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car, and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"

The Pope says, "Sure." The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "Guys, I just pulled over someone really important."

They ask who, "The President?"

"No, more important."

"The president of another country?"

"No, more important."

"An ambassador?"

"No, even more important."

"Well, who is it?"

"I don’t know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."

When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.

Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.

The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.

The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"

The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"

What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?

Cassie.

Get it?

What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?

"Get to the ground, beef!"

Why did the teacher get arrested?

He gave the orphan homework!

How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?

Push?! He fell...

What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You're under a vest.

What do you call a cab for black men?

A cop car.

An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.

What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."

What do you call a Pokémon that wants to be a police officer?

Magic-cop!

Q. If a pedophile, necrophile, and a guy who is into incest are all sitting in a car, who's driving?

A. A police officer.

The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is that the police lights are different.