Mosely in a white van.
Damn, that joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're trained for that.
How do you call a cop?
Through the phone.
(My puns are bad)
Me: 911, I just killed someone.
Cops: Cool, we will not come.
Me: Why?
Cops: Don't admit a crime.
Phones: *Bang Bang*
Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
Cops be like dead from COVID hahaha. Should have listened to the law, you dumb dead pigs!
What did Pepper say to Spray?
"Hey Spray, I'm Pepper, and I think we should fight crime!"
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Police.
Police who?
Police stop telling these awful knock knock jokes!
The police: Pull over!
The kid: Do you know who my dad is?
The police: What, your mom did not tell you?
Your dad left you because he went for milk.
*1,000,000 years later*
Her: Dad come back!
Him: FBI open up!
What do you call a policeman/farmer?
A farmer in blue!
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!
2023- my dad is a cop.
1800- my dad owns your dad.
Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.
Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?
Class: A cow says mo mo.
Teacher: Good.
Teacher: What does a sheep make?
Class: A sheep says maa maaa.
Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?
Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.
Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."
"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with her?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with him?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."
Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"
The FBI said, "Open up!" I shout to them.
A person said, "Cookie sale." I opened up. He fucked me.
I had the worst day of my life. My 13 year old ex got killed and I got fired from my job as a police guard. Did I mention that we were in Syria?
What happened when 800 hares got loose in the center of town?
The cops had to comb through the area.
