INS jokes
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)
God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.
Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."
My dad died during 9/11, he was the best pilot in all Saudi Arabia.
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
Did you know the "w" in Africa stands for water?
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.
There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.
A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."
Why do orphans want to die?
Because they might see their parents in Heaven.
Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris?
Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris.
Son: Thanks, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Quarantine.
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!
Like if you like dogs. Dislike if you like cats. Other animal? Tell me in the comments!
Who is buried in the tomb of Alexander the Grape?
Alexander the raisin.