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Die

Anonymous

I wanna die

Puns

Rick

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

Mouse

Anonymous

Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

To find Pluto

Salad

Anonymous

What do you do with epileptic lettuce? – You make a seizure salad.

Puns

Salad

What did the salad say to pineapple

Lettuce be friends

Puns

Declan

What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.

Toilet

Anonymous

Ran out of toilet paper so had to start using lettuce leaves…today was the tip of the iceberg

Ketchup

Jakeomalfoy

There was a race between Lettuce a faucet and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running and the ketchup was trying to ketchup

Ketchup

Anonymous

Did you hear about the tomatoe and the lettuce race? Well the lettuce was a-head and the tomatoe was trying to ketchup

Girlfriend

DHS

There are two siblings. A little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night, and take her home. So they get to the bigger brothers house, and walk in his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk bed. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, “whenever you feel good, say lettuce, and whenever you want to switch positions say tomato.” The girl constantly is saying “lettuce, tomato” and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, " can you guys stop making sandwiches, you’re getting mayonnaise all over me.

Spell

GiratinaGod1

Say Lettuce And Spell CUP

Ketchup

BadJokeTeller

Have ya heard about the awesome fruit race? the lettuce was ahead but the tomato was able to ketchup!

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Puns

Pun123

I was trying to make friends and this one person came up to me they said “lettuce be friends?” I just laughed and said that was tearable

Number

foot lettuce

number 15 burger king foot lettuce the last thing you want in your Berger king Berger is someones foot fungus but as it turns out that might be what you get.

Ketchup

FoodDude

Did you hear the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

Salad

Zhopan

What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!

Best

Anonymous

knock knock whos there? lettuce lettuce who? lettuce in and ill tell ya

School

Anonymous

Knock knock (who’s there) lettuce (lettuce who) lettuce out of school early

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