Lettuce Jokes

Anonymous

I wanna die

7
Rick
in Puns

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

1
Anonymous

Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

To find Pluto

Anonymous

What do you do with epileptic lettuce? – You make a seizure salad.

8
Jakeomalfoy

There was a race between Lettuce a faucet and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running and the ketchup was trying to ketchup

Salad
in Puns

What did the salad say to pineapple

Lettuce be friends

0
Anonymous
in Toilet Paper

Ran out of toilet paper so had to start using lettuce leaves…today was the tip of the iceberg

2
Anonymous
in Appetite

Did you hear about the tomatoe and the lettuce race? Well the lettuce was a-head and the tomatoe was trying to ketchup

1
Declan
in Puns

What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.

7
Pun123
in Puns

I was trying to make friends and this one person came up to me they said “lettuce be friends?” I just laughed and said that was tearable

DHS

There are two siblings. A little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night, and take her home. So they get to the bigger brothers house, and walk in his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk bed. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, “whenever you feel good, say lettuce, and whenever you want to switch positions say tomato.” The girl constantly is saying “lettuce, tomato” and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, " can you guys stop making sandwiches, you’re getting mayonnaise all over me.

6
GiratinaGod1
in Spell

Say Lettuce And Spell CUP

foot lettuce

number 15 burger king foot lettuce the last thing you want in your Berger king Berger is someones foot fungus but as it turns out that might be what you get.

2
BadJokeTeller
in Fruit

Have ya heard about the awesome fruit race? the lettuce was ahead but the tomato was able to ketchup!

Zhopan
in Salad

What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!

FoodDude
in Fruit

Did you hear the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

I have a green hat

What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce? A chicken sees a salad

( say it outloud if you don’t get it )

Sorry

Lettuce ketchup

Anonymous
in Best

knock knock whos there? lettuce lettuce who? lettuce in and ill tell ya

Anonymous

knock knock lettuce in