What do you do with epileptic lettuce? – You make a seizure salad.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
There are two siblings. A little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night, and take her home. So they get to the bigger brothers house, and walk in his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk bed. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, “whenever you feel good, say lettuce, and whenever you want to switch positions say tomato.” The girl constantly is saying “lettuce, tomato” and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, " can you guys stop making sandwiches, you’re getting mayonnaise all over me.
There was a race between Lettuce a faucet and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running and the ketchup was trying to ketchup
Did you hear about the tomatoe and the lettuce race? Well the lettuce was a-head and the tomatoe was trying to ketchup
Did you hear the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
I was trying to make friends and this one person came up to me they said “lettuce be friends?” I just laughed and said that was tearable