Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book? A: The ins and outs of child rearing.
Kfc proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids.😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.
“I’m thinking about killing off the main character in this book I’m writing.”
“What type of book is it?”
“An autobiography.”
"Hey, today was great."
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car."
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.
Two kids were beating up a kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
Kids in the backseat make accidents and accidents in the back seat make kids.
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
i told the emo girl that i bet shes jealous of the hanging lights in the gym
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
When you name yourself twin towers and Terrorist in Kahoot:
Twin towers is on fire🔥
Terrorist is on a streak of 2
