Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree.
Too bad he left him hanging.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.
Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.
But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"
The other day my friend messaged me saying, "bro I have two pieces of bad news for you." I told him to combine them. He replied with, "your girlfriend is cheating on both of us."
I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait.
I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.
I apologize for my grammar.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterward, he's sitting in the doctor's office, and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."
Like this post to give someone you hate bad luck.
My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."
So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.
Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
