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Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: no one stands up Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. waves her finger around the left side of the room Little Johnny: stands up Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like

Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself…

Where the f*ck is my roof?

Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.

Why are orphans bad at poker?

They don’t know what a full house is.

My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.

What’s brown and rather bad for your dental health? -A baseball bat

A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterwords he’s sitting the the doctor’s office and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, “I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer’s.” The man replies, “well, at least I don’t have cancer.”

I donated 100dollars to a blind children’s charity, to bad they won’t ever see a dime of it

So, I know that there are a lot of egg YOLKS on this website, and I guess I got BEAT to it, but I’m EGGcited to say EGGsactly what the eggs say. I know I;m bad at this but I hope you will crack up anywat

i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.

roses are dead, violets are dead, I am a bad gardener.

What’s red and bad for your teeth? – A brick.

What do you call an asian kid who’s bad at math?

An orphan

I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun… Then it dawned on me

Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? – He doesn’t stand for anything.

I tried to catch the fog, but I mist

Jake Paul

Friends are like penguins.

If you stab a penguin, they die.

Why are Americans bad chess players?

They lost two towers.