My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
Stephen hawkings is such a bad role model for our kids
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"
I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.
Today was a bad day, their was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy
Is Google a girl or a boy?
Obviously a Girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.
My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait
Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.
When a military dies we shoot aII night, when a drunkard dies we drink aII night, when a Christian dies we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies,what should we do???please tell me
What do need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record
Like this post to have give someone you hate bad luck
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?
An orphan
Friends are like penguins.
If you stab a penguin, they die.
A scare crow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?it's not like they'll tell there parents.
