INS jokes

What's common between a feminist and a knife?

They both stay in the kitchen.

This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.

Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"

What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?

They both empty their sacks around children.

What's the difference between a flower and an orphan?

One is allowed in the house.

What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?

A foreign exchange student.

At night time, in Africa, it's known as the darkest country. Till this day, I still wonder why.

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.

Just to test their patients.

Waluigi gets his Walu-weenie stuck in a vending machine!

Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

This category is messed up.

My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.

Why couldn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?

It got stuck in a crack.

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

Guess what, everybody? I'm dumb in math. I'm dumb and stupid at math.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

The gayest person in the world is Pacman, because I can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

What happens when you put a baby in a blender?

The baby is a cherry smoothie.

What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!

You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.