INS jokes

I like my people how I like my tea...

In a bag under water.

How does an artist fill in a CV?

He draws on experience.

Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."

Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.

Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.

Imagine you ask a girl out in braille.

And she leaves you on felt.

What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?

They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.

I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.

It was a touching story.

The Good Old Days.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

Stephen Hawking, rest in PC World.

A boy and his friend were walking down the street.

Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"

Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."

Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."

Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.

He came in twice.

(like if u understand)

How do you cut ancient Rome in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.

A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.

Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...

A man wakes up in the hospital and says, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"

"Of course," the doctor says. "I amputated your arms."

So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. 👍

I wish 9/11 was in December because the poor farm fields.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.

666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?

Do it in calculator.

What grade is the worst, like if in elementary?

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.