INS jokes
In Soviet Russia,
You love Chinese and hate Chinese.
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
What is the oldest animal in the world?
A zebra—it is black and white.
There are more genders than there are cars in a Walmart parking lot.
bro i found disney- modern alice in wonerland
What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?
Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.
What did one nut say to the other nut?
A: "Candice deez nuts fit in my mouth."
"Jack and Jill run up the hill to have sex but in a text a sibling sayed I’m on a hill sleeping with a mex. foursome peace love and biches."
Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?
Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.
Q: What do you call America in a year? A: A wasteland.
One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."
The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
It's a RUF life in Africa.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? You kick his sister in the jaw.
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
A tire.
(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...
He fell from a tower.
This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses.
His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. "My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?"
"Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"