Eye jokes

People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.

"Hey, how do I look?"

"With your eyes, Joe."

What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"

Chuck Norris once stared a basilisk in the eye, and it DIED!

What does Tiffany call Chucky when he is staring at her Barbie?

"Eye torture!"

Sauron said, "Eye see all."

"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.

So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"

Wife: “How do I look?” Husband: “With your eyes.”

Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.

What do you call a white man that’s blind?

Asian eyes.

When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"

And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."

Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."

And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"

And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"

And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"

And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Orphans got me like: 😂

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.

What did Rob O'Neill say before he shot Osama Bin Laden between the eyes?

"Go to HELLakbar!"

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.

You're as useless as Stevie Wonder's eyes!

I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?

A cloud.

What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?

An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.