Chuck Norris: "I block bullets with my beard." Abraham Lincoln: "I catch bullets with my skull."
Skull Jokes
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
Your forehead is so big your inner thoughts echo.
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
A funny joke scenario.
Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
Papyrus ran headfirst into a windmill. Guess you can call him a bonehead.
What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?
A heartless killer.
All these jokes make me laugh to death 💀.
Here comes the plane... the twins. ☠️
What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
Here are some skeleton jokes.
You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.
If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.
I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.
I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.
I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!
I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.
I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.
Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!
Boo! 👻🎃💀🕷️🕸️☠️ (So scary, right?)
The skeleton cancelled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart just wasn’t in it.