Harry Potter jokes
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
"You're an orphan forever," - Harry Potter.
The Harry Potter fanbase.
Harry Potter has an invisibility cloak, I have family.
Harry Potter
Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"
Jumanji
Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."
What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!
What is Hitler's favorite book? "Hitler and the chamber of secrets."
What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Running, JK rolling!
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
For all the Harry Potter fans:
A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?
Harry Potter.
Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?
Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.
Draco Malfoy had a wand fight in the bathroom.
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!