Harry Potter

Harry Potter Jokes

Author

How does the author of Harry Potter get around?

She walks, JK, Rowling!

Girlfriend

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

Movie

Harry Potter

Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"

Jumanji

Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."

Book

What is Hitler's favorite book? "Hitler and the chamber of secrets."

Ginger

What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?

A ginger with friends.

Difference

What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?

Harry made it out of the chamber.

Vpn

For all the Harry Potter fans:

A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.

Girl

Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?

Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.

Movie

Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.

Road

Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?

So no one would know what side he was on.

Diary

What did Ron put in his diary?

I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.

Spell

What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!