Grandfather Jokes

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.

When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, “You use way too much technology!”. Jim then said, “No, YOU use too much technology!” and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.

My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.


My grandfather was there when the titanic sank..he shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they Finally kicked him out of the movie theater............haha


My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . "You little bastard!"

What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.


Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?

While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.


"I hate when people make 911 jokes because my grandfather died during the twin tower attacks, he was the best pilot in saudi arabia"

a favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather , that is until my mom took the urn away from me

John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather. Chloe says "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic" John says "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler"