I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
BigIrishDude
Life's like a box of chocolates. Doesn't last long for fat people.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
You use dental floss.
Fruit punch sounds like the name of a gay boxer.
I conducted a survey. I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said, "How the fuck did you get in here?" 😂😂😂
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
What is black and long?
A line at KFC.
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
Hey girl, are you an orphan?
Oh, that’s right, I’m your daddy.
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.
This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A-lick-a-lot-of-puss.
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.