Im jokes
Are you free tomorrow?
No, I’m expensive, sorry. 💵💸
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
Like if you think I'm stupid.
"Meow, meow, I'm a dog," said the sped kid.
Guess what, everybody? I'm dumb in math. I'm dumb and stupid at math.
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
I'm Jessica, and I really want to talk to Ashton Parkes.
This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.
So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
It's really funny, read through everything slowly.
Say "I'm a man" after everything I say.
I went to the bar. "I'm a man." You saw this woman. "I'm a man." You guys married. "I'm a man." You guys bought a house. "I'm a man." You guys went to bed. "I'm a man," you said. "I'm a man," she said. "I'm a man."
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
This isn’t a joke. Quiet kid jokes are so cliché. Like since when was there an original quiet kid joke like smh. Doesn’t help because I’m a quiet kid and people act as if I’m so dangerous and it’s like the only thing they say to me. Being judged as some big bad monster for being AN INTROVERT!! These jokes used to be funny to me, but now I’m just sick of them...
You are shore to find loads of jokes funny even if I can’t kelp you find the right ones.
Loads of jokes are funny as I’m shore you shall sea.
I hate when people make 9/11 jokes, I'm just blown away.
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.