A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied:

“Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!”

My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? – “Bison.”

How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.

Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, “Isn’t it dark down here?” She replies, “I don’t know. I can’t see.”

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? – A stick.

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

What’s red and bad for your teeth? – A brick.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

yo mama’s so stupid she got locked in Matress World and slept on the floor.

What’s green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? – A pool table.

Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible but the reception was great!

Why can’t college students take exams at the zoo? – Too many cheetahs!

What’s the best thing about 28 year old’s? -There’s 20 of them.

Where do you learn to make ice cream? – Sundae school.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? - Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.

9 out of 10 Americans are stupid… I’m so glad I’m in the 1%.

Yo mama so stupid, that when she heard about cookies on the internet she ate her computer

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