My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
Why can’t blind people eat fish?
Because it’s sea food.
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, “Isn’t it dark down here?” She replies, “I don’t know. I can’t see.”
How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied:
“Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!”
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born.
When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were
How does NASA organize a party? – They planet.
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window…
If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.
yo mama’s so stupid she got locked in Matress World and slept on the floor.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? – “Bison.”
I feel bad for Shopping Carts there allwaze being pushed around
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? – A stick.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off.
What’s red and bad for your teeth? – A brick.
9 out of 10 Americans are stupid… I’m so glad I’m in the 1%.
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible but the reception was great!
Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: 🙄. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: 😳😶😟. My depression: 😉 dont worry I’ll always be here for you.
What’s the best thing about 28 year old’s? -There’s 20 of them.