A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied:

“Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!”

My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off.

How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? – “Bison.”

Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, “Isn’t it dark down here?” She replies, “I don’t know. I can’t see.”

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? – A stick.

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

What’s red and bad for your teeth? – A brick.

Yo mama so stupid, that when she heard about cookies on the internet she ate her computer

yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W’s

Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.

The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”

As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible but the reception was great!

What’s green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? – A pool table.

9 out of 10 Americans are stupid… I’m so glad I’m in the 1%.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? - Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.

What’s the best thing about 28 year old’s? -There’s 20 of them.

Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, “you forgot the remote”