Hand

WOW

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied:

“Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!”

Puns

video games

My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

Wife

Anonymous

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window…

If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.

Puns

Anonymous

How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.

Depression

Anonymous

When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were

Darkness

Anonymous

Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, “Isn’t it dark down here?” She replies, “I don’t know. I can’t see.”

Man

Anonymous

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Fish

Anonymous

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

Number

The Rapist

What’s the best thing about 28 year old’s? -There’s 20 of them.

Fire

Anonymous

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off.

America

Big Boss Tom

yo mama’s so stupid she got locked in Matress World and slept on the floor.

Puns

Anonymous

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? – “Bison.”

Stick

Anonymous

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? – A stick.

Puns

Anonymous

How does NASA organize a party? – They planet.

Red

Anonymous

What’s red and bad for your teeth? – A brick.

America

Anonymous

9 out of 10 Americans are stupid… I’m so glad I’m in the 1%.

Roof

Anonymous

Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible but the reception was great!

Angel

Big Boss Tom

Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, “you forgot the remote”

High

Daddy Jack

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana, Jack got high pulled down his fly and ask if she wanna, Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and had a little fun, stupid Jill forgot the pill now they have a son

Son

Anonymous

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son

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