My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied:

“Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!”

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window…

If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.

When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were

How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.

Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, “Isn’t it dark down here?” She replies, “I don’t know. I can’t see.”

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

What’s the best thing about 28 year old’s? -There’s 20 of them.

How does NASA organize a party? – They planet.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? – “Bison.”

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? – A stick.

What’s red and bad for your teeth? – A brick.

yo mama’s so stupid she got locked in Matress World and slept on the floor.

9 out of 10 Americans are stupid… I’m so glad I’m in the 1%.

Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible but the reception was great!

Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, “you forgot the remote”

The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana, Jack got high pulled down his fly and ask if she wanna, Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and had a little fun, stupid Jill forgot the pill now they have a son