Plastic jokes
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?
Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.
Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.
Be careful around fire, plastic melts.
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson live in a Barbie world?
A: ♫He's made of plastic, it's fantastic!♪
A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.
The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.
The man then got plastic prosthetics.
Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.
After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!
Why are women in love with plastic because they had a plastic "galflalflflfalfl?"
What do you call a white bucket?
A pail.
True Story
A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out, "He doesn't love me anymore!"
The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis.' The officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.
At gym class today, my friend made this song:
🎵 I’m a Barbie girl, I am fantastic, my boobs are plastic!
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
There is an Afghan Barbie; it’s a blow-up doll.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.
As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.