50+ Plastic Jokes

What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.

When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.

Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.

Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.

The image shows two side-by-side portraits of Donald Trump with different skin tones. On the left, his skin is a pale color, and text below reads, "Tupperware when it's new." On the right, his skin is more orange, and the text below reads, "Tupperware after storing spaghetti in it once."

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.

What do turtles and lesbians have in common?

They both choke on plastic.

What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?

They both have plastic in them.

China is as fake as bitches with plastic surgery, and they talk about body positivity.

Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.

What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.

There is an Afghan Barbie; it’s a blow-up doll.

I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

I went to the pharmacy the other day. I tried to buy a pack of condoms, but I pretended I didn't have enough money to mess with the cashier.

I went back into the aisles of the store, got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap, bought them, and walked out. I loved the look on the cashier's face when they saw my decision.