How do computers get drunk?
They take a screenshot.
Image Jokes
Once I saw a mirror... and that was when I got the ability to become a ghost.
My wife is like a mirror.
I can never look at it.
Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
What kind of family pictures do orphans take?
Selfies!!
Best not leave hungry kids unattended!
You're so cool that celebrities take pictures of you.
I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.
When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".
I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!
I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.
(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)
(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)
What do you call a black person swimming?
Cursed Minecraft image.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call an orphan’s picture?
A family photo.
Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.
Biggest joke?
[Image of Zac Efron]
My brother when he sees a girl.
Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?
Your hairline is an artificial fact.
I took a plane to go see my hairline.
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)