History jokes
What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?
9/11 victim!
The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.
Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.
Yo hairline so far back, it goes back to Jesus on the cross!
Who is buried in the tomb of Alexander the Grape?
Alexander the raisin.
Memes
Why are New Yorkers so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers!
And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"
I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
What do Monica and Bill Clinton have in common? They both did not inhale. Lol.
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?
Screamed till her hands fell off.
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
Bully: Ur Gay.
Me: I'M STRAIGHTER THAN THE LINE IN OSAMA BIN LADIN'S PLAN.
Bully: *runs away and hears crash*
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semen, and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.
Now that's a hell of a ghost story!
You hear about the Roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
Unlike the Americans, Hitler knew when to kill himself.
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
You know what the yin and yang looked like before Martin Luther King Jr.?
There was none, it was all white!