History jokes
I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.
And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?
Screamed till her hands fell off.
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.
What do Monica and Bill Clinton have in common? They both did not inhale. Lol.
Q: What is Hitler's least favorite grocery store?
A: Jew-Osco
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not the two Twin Towers.
How do you know if you're making a Caesar salad? Stabbing it 23 times.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly woman?
The Twin Towers got fucked.
What’s the difference between a Jew and an American? The American makes it out of camp.
What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?
The Jap trap.
What were Princess Diana's last words?
Have you been Dri...?
...
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
Teacher: Tell me a moral story.
Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.
Teacher: What is the moral even?
Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.
Bully: Ur Gay.
Me: I'M STRAIGHTER THAN THE LINE IN OSAMA BIN LADIN'S PLAN.
Bully: *runs away and hears crash*
There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semen, and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.
Now that's a hell of a ghost story!
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
You hear about the Roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
Unlike the Americans, Hitler knew when to kill himself.