History jokes

Stop making jokes about 9/11. My dad died in 9/11.

Best pilot of Southern Arabia

Allahu Akbar.

Your hairline goes so far back, I remember seeing it in the Stone Age.

Why did the Twin Towers go to Uber Eats?

Because they wanted something plain.

Why [doesn't] Hollywood make a good movie about holocausts?

Because it's so hard to skin Jewish characters.

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.

What’s the difference between God and Hitler?

God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.

What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?

The slash and burn tactic.

My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.

I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.

Wanna know the last words of the south tower?

"HAHA LOOK AT YOU! IMAGINE BEING HIT YOU L BOZO!"

Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?

What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.

Why can’t U.S.A or England play chess?

Because the U.S.A has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.

Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.

Man from 2001 just called. They want a tower back.

My uncle died in 9/11. He was a pilot.

Stop with the 9/11 jokes.

They're not gonna fly.

What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?

Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.

Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?

A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.

Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning?

Because unlike the Twin Towers, it can dodge!

Basically, the Twin Towers are Angry Birds but in real life.