History jokes
Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.
Why did Hitler kill people? Because it was funny! 🥵
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
1950: In the future there will be flying cars.
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
You're so ugly that you and Adolfo Hitler are like twins.
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.
I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.
Stop making jokes about 9/11. My dad died in 9/11.
Best pilot of Southern Arabia
Allahu Akbar.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.
Why can’t U.S.A or England play chess?
Because the U.S.A has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?
Your hairline goes so far back, I remember seeing it in the Stone Age.
What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?
The slash and burn tactic.
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."