Ancient jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t have a home to run to.
Our hairline goes way back before dinosaurs lived.
Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.
We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!
Your hairline is so far back, even the Flintstones knew of it.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
A man complains to a slave dealer: "The slave you sold me died!"
"By the gods," replies the dealer, "he never did that when I owned him!"
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
Why are Egyptian gods orphans?
Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!
Me: hee hee egypt.
Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?
Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!
Your hairline goes all the way back to when Burger King was a Burger Prince.
World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.
What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?
mummy
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
Yo momma so old, she was at Cain and Abel's baby shower.
Your hairline goes so far back, we learned about it in history class.
Yo mama is so old that she was born on the first day the universe existed.