Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.
Ancient Jokes
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
Why are Egyptian gods orphans?
Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?
mummy
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!
Me: hee hee egypt.
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...
Look! An ancient African city!
From the makers of Timbukone...
Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t have a home to run to.
Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?
Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"
If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
