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How do you cut ancient Rome in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime? They were always using pyramid schemes!!

back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said “Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive”

If you don’t get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don’t get it, then you are dumb