Ancient jokes
Yo momma so old, she was at Cain and Abel's baby shower.
Your hairline goes so far back, we learned about it in history class.
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?
Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
Yo mama is so old that she was born on the first day the universe existed.
Look! An ancient African city!
From the makers of Timbukone...
Your hairline is so far back it was back on before Jesus Christ was born.
Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"
If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.
Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."
World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!
Your hairline is so far back, even the Flintstones knew of it.
Our hairline goes way back before dinosaurs lived.
If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t have a home to run to.
Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.
A man complains to a slave dealer: "The slave you sold me died!"
"By the gods," replies the dealer, "he never did that when I owned him!"