History Jokes

What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.

What do you call a group of black people in a shed?

Antique farm equipment.

Q: What's black and white and red all over?

A: The U.S. in 1919!

It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.

Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!

109 countries can't be wrong. Watch Europa: The Last Battle.

It's good that Canada doesn't have the death sentence for treason anymore.

Danielle Smith is so fucking fat she'd get stuck in the gallows.

Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"

Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.

Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.

I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.

My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.

I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.

Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?

Because it had a Great Booty!

They say there is power in numbers.

Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.

What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?

"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"

I know Marie Antoinette jokes aren't funny, but they're nothing to lose your head over.

Jokes about Marie Antoinette aren't funny, but that's no reason to lose your head.

Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.

They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!

What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?

The Jew World Order.

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)

What do you call a 90-year-old black man?

Antique farming equipment.

Why do Asians have squinty eyes?

Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.