Twin jokes
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
When you name yourself Twin Towers and Terrorist in Kahoot:
"Twin Towers" is on fire🔥
"Terrorist" is on a streak of 2.
I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest, so I went as a plane. It didn't fly too well with people.
The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.
On 9/11, the Twin Towers ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas. One came in plain, the other came in late, the third went to the wrong address.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an airplane landing strip? Don't know, neither did my dad.
What did the Twin Towers' mom say when she fed them? "Open wide honey, here comes the airplane."
Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?
It has better reflexes than the twin towers.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.
Women are like the Twin Towers. After you smash them, and if some little people start jumping out, the government is gonna tax the shit outta you.
What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.
Ya ever think about the twin towers plan?
Me neither. It all came crashing down.
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
Because unlike the Twin Towers it can dodge.
"White people can't jump"...
"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."
I tried dressing up as the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers for the office costume party.
It didn't land too well.
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.