Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.
Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.
If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.
What do you get when you cross a Cuban and corrupt dictator, Fidel Castro?
9/11.
In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.
Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.
Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.
So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.
Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.
Yo mama so old, I bet she was born when dinosaurs were made, and also she killed them with they breath! 😭😭
What was purple and conquered the world?
Alexander The Grape.
What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.
I heard World War 500000 in my parents'.
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
Why do white people carry Confederate flags?
To remind us that they are losers.
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement.
Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.
Why did Hellen hate when her dad yelled at her?
Oh wait, she didn’t know! 🤣🤣
What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?
It sinks it.
I smell ice a mile. Titanic, I want to iceberg.
How could the German people fall for Hitler and the Nazis?
There were an awful lot of red flags!
