*Titanic was sinking. Passenger: How far are we from land? Captain: Two miles. Passenger: Which direction? Captain: Down.

What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? – “Make it sew.”

Spock went to the enterprises toilet and he knocked on it “Kirk are you in there?” Spiked asked, Kirk answered “hold on i am making a captains log”

What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet? – The Captain’s Log.

How many ears does Captain Picard have? – Three: A left ear, a right ear and a final front ear.

Why do Pirates say “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” ? First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander: “The canons be ready Captain!” “Are” says the Captain (correcting their grammar) “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!” they all exclaimed !!

What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?

Long John Silvers or Captain D

Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?

Answers; at a second hand store

what cearial do i eat captain bolts

Shipmate: captain, there’s an iceberg and we need to steer around it right now! Captain:my momma didn’t raise no pussy. Either that iceberg is gonna move or I am.

What kind a person will steal Captain Hook hook?

Answer: a hooker