Government jokes

Covid 19 stopped mass shootings faster than the Government.

Why is prostitution illegal?

Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.

Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."

What is a government mandate?

When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.

What is the difference between the government and organized crime?

Only one of them is organized.

Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?

Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.

If the government can print money,

Then why are we paying taxes?

Why can't Chinese do anything? The government won't let them.

Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.

Don't steal. That's the government's job.

what happens when the president turns emo?

the great depression.

A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."

What do a politician and a minister have in common?

Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.

What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS?

If you stop giving money to a church, you won't go to prison.

Women are like the Twin Towers. After you smash them, and if some little people start jumping out, the government is gonna tax the shit outta you.

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.

Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?

Because he was about to kick the cabinet.

I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."

If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.

I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.

I've seen too many of them get elected.