In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle dave…
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke? He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
you know I want an ADHD cure. when?
What did one squirrel say to the other ‘‘do you have any nuts’’
What do squirrels and men have in common? They always want a nut.
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but how they got in there’s the real mystery!!!
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A polise officer said," Sir, I’m going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said," I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said," I did. Today I’m taking them to the beach."
Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole
The other day a squirrel asked me for a job, I asked him what jobs did you have previously. Calmly he answered," I am a pilot, I can pick it up from here and pile it over there, I also can fly a sign!!!" " To bad, this is a nut cannery, and we’re 100% automated, we don’t need anyone at this time, sorry." " No worries, I’m totally nuts anyway, guess I’ll fly a sign across town, don’t have bus fare!!!"
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree? You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
Why didn’t the squirrel wanna go swimming because he didnt wanna get his nuts wet
Q.How do you catch a squirrel? A.Act like a nut. (Psst!Heard this joke before?Sorry!That’s the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
What did the squirrel say to the dog?
There are nuts in your poop. I found them.
What would you name a mumafied squirrel?
these are all of my terrible jokes
Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright but the reception was amazing A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said "I’ll serve you but don’t start anything A dyslexic man walks into a bra Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says "does this taste funny to you, I’m joking of course" Dejamoo: the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident and said to the doctor “I can’t feel my legs” the doctor said " I know, I AMPUTATED YOUR ARMS" I went to seafood disco last week, I pulled a muscle What do you call a fish with no eyes, a fsh Two fish swim into a concrete wall, one says "dam" A mystic dwarf escapes from a jail, the call went out of a "small medium at large" A man walks into a bar with solid tar under his arm, he says "a beer please,and one for the road" Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent YO MAMA SO FAT THAT she should be worried, diabetes is a serious problem What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, duh A priest a rabbi and a cleric walk into a bar, the cleric, due to his religious constructions, does not drink alcohol. The others do the same, they have a pleasant fun and nothing bad happens. What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint. I remember the last words my grandad said before he kicked the bucket, how far do you think I can kick this bucket A man walks into a bar, his alcohol independence is pulling this family apart I like my coffee like my women, on sometimes with a penis A man is working at a bar, a money comes in and orders a banana martini. The man wakes up and tells his story to his wife, he is ignored and he turns around sobbing. His marriage is falling apart Why didn’t Jesus play hockey? Soccer and baseball are more popular in Mexico What’s green and has wheels? Grass, the wheels WERE A LIE. What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have wheels except the duck Why couldn’t the dinosaur break the wall, I don’t know. I’m asking you Why did the old woman put rainbow roller skates on her walker, she has dementia There are an owl and a squirrel watching a farmer go by, they owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing. It’s an owl it can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says “I forgot to store acorns for winter so now I am dead” haha it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
Why did the squirrel swim on its back. To keep its nuts dry
Why did the squirrel swim on its back so it didn’t get it’s nuts wet
What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it’s pretty self-explanatory.
What do squirrels eat? Nuts 🥜