Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
What did one squirrel say to the other ''do you have any nuts''
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
Squirrel: I got a joke.
Dog: What the hell is it?
Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.
Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?
Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.
Dees was a squirrel, who had big nuts. Everybody loved dees big nuts.
