Direction jokes
Titanic was sinking.
Passenger: "How far are we from land?"
Captain: "Two miles."
Passenger: "Which direction?"
Captain: "Down."
I think our destination is under there.
Under where?
----> [] get in the door.
You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!
Why did Jordan cross the road? So he could get to his house.
Which band doesn’t make music?
One Direction.
You went the wrong way. Always choose the right path.
If Leo were any slower, she’d be going BACKWARD.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So it could get to the other side!
I’d like to be a One Direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
I don't beat up midgets.
That would be punching down.
Orphans are so unwanted that when One Direction saw one, it went the other direction.
-->[] go through the door if you can.
Why did the rapper always carry a map?
So he could navigate his way through the rap game.
I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
What goes up but doesn't come down?
When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.
I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.
A guy walks into an AA meeting and asks for a road map.
A gay guy asked me for directions, so I told him to go straight.