Direction jokes

Titanic was sinking.

Passenger: "How far are we from land?"

Captain: "Two miles."

Passenger: "Which direction?"

Captain: "Down."

My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.

What's the difference between a knife and my life?

A knife has a point.

If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?

What goes zzub-zzub?

A bee flying backwards.

Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in, his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said, “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said, “That was the sound of the north wind.” The next day his teacher asked the class, “What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said, “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”

A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.

Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"

"No, I named myself," she answered.

"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"

"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.

‘BJ Titsngolf’

My wife said I have no sense of direction.

I said, "Where did that come from?"

What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?

"Juan Direction."

Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.

I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.

Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.

My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?

Your hairline's so bent, it goes west, east, north, and south!

Your career might be in the north, but it's going south :)

My wife said I had no sense of direction... so I packed my sh*t and left.

What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?

A Disap point ment.

When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.

The direction I'm looking.

What do you call a clever clock?

Clockwise.

Bet y'all did not know Kobe had blue eyes! One blew east and one blew west.