Health jokes
Doctor: Tomorrow is like John Cena, you won’t see it.
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
Your mama so fat that when she went to McDonald's, they said, "Sorry, you've had enough, ma'am."
The 9/11 and the Spanish flu are kind of similar.
The Spanish flu was a very dangerous flu, and in 9/11, something very dangerous flew.
I have ligma.
lol again
The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.
My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."
So I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches?
No brain, no pain.
I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the Covid-19 patients to stay positive.
Spppppp.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything had to be perfect...but not for long.
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
What do Africans eat for breakfast?
E-bola Cornflakes.
Where do bunnies go when they're sick?
The hoppital.
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
Numb Butt Wheelchair Club: No Feeling, No Problem!
Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger.