Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
Health Jokes
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
Why is the orange 🍊 the fastest fruit?
Because it never runs out of juice.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
When life gives you melons, You’re probably dyslexic.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
Covid be like, "I'm going to take your breath away."
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
Your mom is SOO stupid, she was studying for a COVID test.
What’s the worst part of a vegetable?
A wheelchair.
When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."
