Finger jokes
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
All school meeting introductions:
Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”
Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”
High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
I go in to get a prostate exam. I'm nervous, but the doctor says it's all natural and needs to be done.
So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.
That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.
A man walked into a toilet and saw a woman fingering a man and said, "I think you're doing it wrong." Turns out it was two transvestites.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have? Four fingers and a Thu'um.
What do lesbians do when they have a problem? They finger it out.
Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.
What did Thanos say when he snapped his finger? Another one bites the dust.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got 5 fingers, she will get 2.
Want to hear a joke about a guy losing fingers?
Never mind, it’s too pointless.
Let me just remove my finger from your bottom.
Thank you, nurse!
How many fingers am I holding? I'm not holding any fingers.
I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?
I have 5 fingers and the middle one is for you
You're all gay. HEHEHE!
A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.