Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor.

I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside , feeling for abnormalities.

That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: no one stands up Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. waves her finger around the left side of the room Little Johnny: stands up Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints. The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint. The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, “Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!”

Why was the guitar teacher arrested?

For fingering a minor.

What’s a lesbians favorite type of food?

Finger-Food

A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says “Here. Ow.” She then pokes her arm and says “Here. Ow.” She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say “I know what’s happened to you.” “What’s happened to me??” The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, “You have a broken finger.”

A Roman walks into a bar

He holds up two fingers and says “give me five beers.”

What’s green and smells like ham.

Kermit the frogs fingers

Confucius say, man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have five fingers, and the middle one is for u.

How do you keep a mute women you’ve raped from telling on you?

By cutting off her fingers.

Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?

Because it’s finger licken’ good!

What’s a cannibal’s favorite dessert?

Lady fingers.

Chuck Norris one shot down a German fighter plane- by pointing his finger at it and yelling “bang!”

What’s green and smells like bacon?

Kermit’s finger.

When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal

Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas. -herpes

Last time I got a piece of ass was hen my finger went through the toilet paper.

friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys