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Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: no one stands up Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. waves her finger around the left side of the room Little Johnny: stands up Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor.

I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside , feeling for abnormalities.

That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints. The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint. The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, “Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!”

Why was the guitar teacher arrested?

For fingering a minor.

What’s a lesbians favorite type of food?


A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says “Here. Ow.” She then pokes her arm and says “Here. Ow.” She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say “I know what’s happened to you.” “What’s happened to me??” The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, “You have a broken finger.”

A Roman walks into a bar

He holds up two fingers and says “give me five beers.”

What did thanos say when he snapped his finger - another one bites the dust

What’s green and smells like ham.

Kermit the frogs fingers

Confucius say, man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have five fingers, and the middle one is for u.

What’s a cannibal’s favorite dessert?

Lady fingers.

How do you keep a mute women you’ve raped from telling on you?

By cutting off her fingers.

Chuck Norris one shot down a German fighter plane- by pointing his finger at it and yelling “bang!”

What did the one-handed man have for breakfast this morning?

Finger food

When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal

What’s green and smells like bacon?

Kermit’s finger.

Say crack my fingers. Now say that backwards…

Playing a game called 7-up. Student- why can’t I use a pencil to tap their fingers? Teacher- it’s cheating! Student- No! it’s the object of the game.