Pig jokes
Why shouldn鈥檛 you play basketball with a pig?
Because he鈥檚 a ball hog.
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?
Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!
What body part do pigs have that humans don鈥檛 have?
A hambone.
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!
What does a chicken give you?
Student: Meat.
What does a pig give you?
Student: Bacon.
What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework.
Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?
Students: Eggs.
Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon.
Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?
Kids: Homework.
What's the difference between a cow and a pig?
One is a pig.
Why did God make pigs before politicians?
He just needed some practice.
Knock knock. Who's there? Por que. Por que who? "That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.
What is a pig crossed with a pineapple?
A porkypine!
When rejected:
That's ok, the 3 other little pigs said no, too.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"
What is a pig鈥檚 馃惙 favorite pie 馃ェ?
Mississippi Mud.
One time, there was a happy little girl. One day, her teacher asked how many legs and arms a pineapple have. She said,
"You know those pokey things on it? That's how many."
Teacher says, "That's dumb. They have zero." Then the next day, the girl set a fire in her house, and she burned her legs and arms. Then she survived and went to school. Then the teacher said, "I heard your house went on fire, and by the way, you know you don't have no arms or legs, right?" The girl said, "OK." Then the teacher asked the question the teacher asked yesterday again. She said, "What do you call a girl with no legs or arms?" The teacher said, "Answer my question!" The girl said, "OK, OK, the girl said 13." The teacher said, "Pineapples do not even have legs!"
Then the teacher had to calm down. Then the teacher said to the girl, "Ask a question. Whatever you want." Then the girl said, "Ok, and I'm sorry, teacher." Teacher said, "It's ok, I need a break." The girl said, "What do you call a girl without legs or arms?" Someone from the class, her name was Nia, she said, "A worm." She said, "NO!!!" The teacher said, "Calm down. Just tell us what!" The girl said, "OK then." The girl said it.......
And y'all who is reading my story, guess what the answer is before I tell you and by the way the girl's name is Sunny. Back to story.........she said the answer is A PINEAPPLE! Then when the teacher was calm, she told her to sit down. Then the teacher read a story, "The Three Little Pigs." Then the girl went home, she got a new house, then lived happily ever after.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you.
I went to a butcher house with my little cousin and saw a baby pig and told her, "Look, it's Pepa Pig!"
She started crying.