Health jokes
What is better than winning gold at the Para Olympics?
WALKING!
Aren't paraplegics just plegics who can fly?
What type of doctor is Doctor Pepper?
A fizzician.
The CCP should be pleased. COVID is the longest thing to have ever been made in China.
I am thinking of removing my spine.
It's only holding me back.
A man walks into a bar.
He had to have 13 stitches!
A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
I was gonna tell a memory loss joke, but I forgot it.
My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.
Then I waited for the results.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌
And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.
To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
How does the skeleton call his friends? With a tele-bone.
My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.
My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?
I'm stumped.
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.